Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Randomize
