Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
