ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
