i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
