At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
