Me too!
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
