she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
