Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
