so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
