i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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