I don't usually arrange sex via text message
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
