Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The police scanner is talking about you again....
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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