Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
