I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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