I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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