I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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