I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
