why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Randomize
