you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
