I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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