I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
