I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
It's just like the Real World with babies
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
