I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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