You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
