butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
