Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
