Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
