My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
