mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
