I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
