I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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