I feel great
I just peed on a car
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
