So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
