So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
