she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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