I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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