If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
