Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
