if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
