Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
