your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
