Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
