Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
