It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
