She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You're earring is so big in my mouth
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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