I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
