Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
We have so much sex to catch up on
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
