question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
