Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
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