addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
