im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
