Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
