Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
