is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
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