I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
