i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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